Music
DESCRIPTION
NI MENE
Pulse/loop and the melody were written in February 2004, as a “Leitmotiv” for “SVATOVSKA”, an unfinished ensemble piece ( strings, percussion, harp, etc ). Soon it became a sort of idée fixe; several drafts were written troughtout the year 2004, mostly for chamber orchestras ( with different titles: ”Ether”, “Svatovska 1993″, “Nistica”, “AD 10078″, “Introductus”, etc. ).
SCREENSHOTS_SCORES_2004
The basic idea was/is a never ending melancholy that evolves into nihilistic agony, buried deep down under, almighty…
The piano composition “NI MENE” is reflecting the essence. Written in spring 2005, “inspired” by death. It was performed throughout Bosnia-Herzegovina as a part of REFLEXIA project. It is a solo version of “Reflection Suite for piano, clarinet and Sarajevo”, a short piece written also in spring 2005 for clarinet ( later viola ) and piano. Sarajevo was a third fictional instrument, sphere, symbol of the agony and melancholy, the loop. But something was missing.
SOUND EXCERPT
NI MENE, may 2005/mp3 player recording
SCREENSHOT SOLO, DUO
The voice.
“NI MENE” poem was written in autumn 2005. It reflects the music and the idea of NI MENE in its core: a conviction, belief in one never ending love that forgives and endures everything; an ultimative, self-destructive, selfless, annihilating, pathological feeling, that paralizes the mind and the body, an addiction that is being fed by the fear of giving up on what has already been lost, since never intended to be/last, or, never was. So it inhabits a fictional world where it can exist forever, undisturbed.
NI MENE
I…kad… ti sebe… dajem…
I… kad… ti sebe… oduzimam…
I… kad… te razaram… rastvaram…
Uvijek meni…
I uvijek meni…
Uvijek meni…
PRAŠTAJ SVE!
I…kad… mi sebe… daješ…
I… kad… mi sebe… oduzimaš…
I… kad… me razaraš… rastvaraš…
Uvijek tebi…
I uvijek tebi…
Uvijek tebi…
PRAŠTAM SVE!
Na javi u kojoj mira nemam,
ljubim ti ruke, udišem dah,
ne daš mi trena da udahnem zrak,
i sve jedno… mi je,
i sve drugo… jedno ( mi ) je,
i sve( )jedno… je,
OSIM TEBE!
COMPOSITION – LAST VERSION
“NI MENE – poema za klavir, violinu, violu, timpane, alt & electronics/fis-moll” ensemble piece was written and recorded in 2006 ( Studio 1, PBS BiH Sarajevo ). The intention was making of a 10 minutes long music movie. Project was postponed indefinitely.
SCREENSHOT POEM
quote: “ NI MENE is my one and only “mainstream” composition and so it should remain ´till the end of my days. This version (POEMA za klavir, violinu, violu, timpane, alt & electronics/fis-moll) was written in march 2006… As you can hear ( or not, whatever ), this demo recording is of awful “quality”- made in couple of hours, with almost no rehersals and no money available… Percussion sample is unbearable, to put it mildly… The recording is a mere shadow of the written score… The best part is Maja´s voice… ( Maja Hodzic, singer from BiH )… Pity there was no time to use it… But neverthenless, it is as it is… …Short music movie is the second part of this work in progress… …Waiting for Godot… …This “video” draft is just black. More could not be said, with less…” quote
VIDEO DRAFT